Red!

Something happened today while I was at work. Something horrible, disturbing, something that's shaken my faith in humanity and made me feel like an alien walking unnoticed amongst the human race.

We were decorating cakes when the phone rang. Co-worker #1 answered - I'm leaving out names here, to protect the dignity of the parties involved. The customer wanted to know: what colors do you mix to make the color red?

I looked #1 in the eye. "Red?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Like, what are the ingredients in the red icing?"

"No, just, what colors you mix to make red."

I stared at her blankly for a second or two. "You... don't," I said finally.

"Well, you can mix all colors to get anything."

"But... no. Red is a primary color. So are yellow and blue."

"Yellow and orange make red!" shouted coworker #2 - I thought she of all people would know!

"But... orange is red and yellow!" I said, desperately, while coworker #1 told the customer in a matter-of-fact tone that red is made out of yellow and orange.

I mixed some icing in demonstration. I made a color wheel on iced cookies using the airbrush, explaining primary, secondary and tertiary colors, RGB, CMYK, explained how red, green and blue light make white, how black is technically not a color... Everything I know. Still, all three of them stood by their convictions. Their logic: what are red, blue and yellow made out of if not other colors?

I'm... stunned. Horrified. I... didn't know things were this bad. I have to get out of here.